We do not suffer by accident
by Runners
Summary: She hates humidity and the grey sky before the rain, but she adores the falling drops of water tenderly kissing her delicate skin. Dewy petrichor intoxicates her senses, leaving her stunned of how this shattered world they live in keeps surprising her, remains breath-taking when she never expects it to be. Or everyone made it to S.H. but Teresa is stuck in her unreturned feelings.
1. Chapter 1

**Warning: swearing and sexual themes! You've been warned**

 **A/N: First it was supposed to be a one-shot, but it'd be way too long so...**

 _"We do not suffer by accident" - Jane Austen; 'Pride and Prejudice'_

She hates humidity and the grey sky before the rain, but she adores the falling drops of water tenderly kissing her delicate skin. Dewy petrichor intoxicates her senses, leaving her stunned of how this shattered world they live in keeps surprising her, remains breath-taking when she never expects it to be.

She leans on the wooden door-frame of her not-overly-big bungalow. She wonders if she would see him tonight with his now five-eighths of an inch long dark hair and whiskey eyes. Teresa wants to see him alone but is fully aware Brenda would be glued to his hip like she's been for the last four months. And she doesn't blame her. If she were in her shoes, she wouldn't even let Tom out of bed.

Shaking her head she tries to block an image of them together out of her head, but her brain betrays her. Or maybe she's just a masochist. She unfolds her hands and lets one of them point itself in front of her. Cold rain-drops land on her pale skin and quickly run down her forearm, making her shiver.

She's happy for Tom. She's even happier he forgave her. She's the happiest all of them miraculously survived and made it to the Safe Heaven. Yet, she feels almost empty. Sorrow fills her soul and leaves her heart aching. A single, hot tear falls down her cheek to her mouth and she can taste the salty liquid on her tongue.

She realizes she doesn't want to see him anymore or maybe doesn't want him to see her like this. There are days when she feels oddly alone in a place filled to the brim with people the exact same experience like her. She truly tried to connect with someone but failed miserably. During meals she usually sits with Newt, Minho, Fry, Gally, and Tom if he doesn't tag Brenda along – which rarely happens at this point – when he does she excuses herself and sits with girls and guys she's assigned to work with.

Michael – named after Michael Jackson a musician who as Teresa heard was one of the biggest revolutionists in his occupation (sadly she'll never have a chance to listen to even one tune of his) – is a guy from another WICKED base, another maze, the only survival from there. He's affable and kind, and definitely interested in Teresa. Too bad she's all over Tom whenever she can. There's also Penny, Amy, Drake, and Marcus. They're all great, but she often feels she doesn't belong with them. She's sloppy at her job – her thoughts are always with the brown-eyed boy – but no one ever complains. Amy and Penny try to gossip with her, but Teresa is just not the type. She likes to keep to herself, but sometimes just to keep them near or not to feel like a burden she'll talk about cute guys or bonfires. She'll play truth or dare or spin an empty bottle of some Gally's moonshine – which often helps her get her mind off stuff only to leave her miserable and hung-over the next day.

She walks inside, not even the smell of freshly watered ground can put the smallest smile on her face and locks the door behind her. She ignores the rings inviting everyone to dinner. She refuses to socialize with her grumpy mood and puffy eyes. From a small shelf, she takes one of her two books. They're lucky enough to have found some and even create a little library in the suburbs of the camp. She yearned - still does - to work there, but since they have around a hundred of books and quite some people willing to work here when four are definitely enough since their repertory is definitely limited and those were quickly taken. Every time she visits all of them are playing cards, sleeping or chatting. Not many people around the camp bother to even visit the library, so they don't mind her keeping a few books too long.

A knock on her door brings Teresa out of her thoughts. She doesn't answer immediately. First, she listens to the pouring rain hoping to get lost in the sound and smell again, but she doesn't want another knock to bring her back down, so she opens the door.

From a distance, she sees a damp mess of blond hair bounce as he limps away in the rain. Her gaze follows him even after he disappears out of her sight. On the ground, she notices a plate covered by another – her lunch. She'll never understand the Brit, certainly not because of his accent, but because of his actions. Though he was previously second-in-command, he refuses to take any kind of leadership in his hands now, yet he looks after everyone like a mum.

She raises the plates from the ground before too much water manages to sneak in between them. The stew is almost cold at this point, but she eats it anyway – she'd feel too selfish if she threw it away just like that, besides she loves Fry's food.

She feels too tired to carry the dishes back to the kitchen, yet too restless to fall asleep on a soft bed – she wonders if she could ever get used to it. She untangles herself from a blanket and goes straight to her bathroom, slowly stripping off her clothes on the way, leaving them a mess on a chilly floor.

She welcomes the hot water on her greedy body as her hands wander around sides. She cups her breasts and squeezes them tightly imagining Tom's huge, coarse palms. Her eyelids droop as she imagines him standing right behind her when she leans against a wall for support. She can almost hear his gruff voice as he purrs all the filthy words he can possibly think.

" _Tom!"_ She gasps pinching her nipples hard. She imagines him smirking against the croak of her neck when her hips grind against the wall. Her body perspires under the steaming water, but she barely notices too lost in her fantasy. She rubs her thighs against each other as her juice sluggishly runs down her skin.

Her slender and warm palm leaves her hard nipple and travels down her abdomen. She imagines his infatuating fingers as she parts her folds and plays with her clit. She slides down the wall as her hand gives in. She can almost feel his wiry, sweaty body against hers. She moans his name, but the water swallows all the sound that leaves her mouth. She puts her foot on the opposite wall for support and her walls tighten around her fingers as she pumps them hard inside her. Her body begins to tremble lightly and with a vision of his bicep wrapped around her, she cums violently gasping his name over and over until she cold water brings her back to reality.

She manages to quickly clean herself up before going back to bed which now seems ironically welcoming. Darkness greets her soon, consuming all her worries as she wraps herself in a warm blanket and collapses onto a soft pillow.

Newt and Teresa never mention that afternoon, but she genuinely smiles to him as a thank you the next morning. She doesn't sit with him at the table, though, for he takes his usual place next to Tom who has his arm around Brenda as they small talk whilst the rest of the table laughs at something Minho says. She watches them with a corner of her eye pretending to be indulged in a conversation with her co-workers.

"Teresa," Marcus' orotund voice brings her back. "Are you coming to the bonfire tonight?"

"Everyone's coming, so why wouldn't I?"

"I dunno. You just seem off," he confessed, shrugging his shoulders and looking down at his plate. She gets a glance from Amy and Penny and she knows they'll bombard her with accusations or assumptions.

That's exactly what happens at the bonfire and she drowns them out with two jars of the moonshine. They eventually give up and decide to join the others and their silly game. Teresa gets away – thankfully unnoticed – to a covered with a green, slightly sharp grass with a view at the salty ocean. The smell and the quite strong wind don't bother at least not as much as Brenda and Tom together on the beach bellow. She knows she's looking like a total creep staring at them like this but she can't help it. _Masochist._ – Her brain whispers to her like a void.

"It's only gonna make it worse." She turns around to the well-known accent. He sits next to her letting his legs dangle as he sips the moonshine.

"I don't know what you're talking about," she mumbles and receives a side glance like he was saying 'uh-huh'. She shakes her head dismissively and looks away hoping for Newt to leave her in peace.

"You should get over it, go play with us by the fire, and mix with somebody."

"Like you, you mean?" She gives him a well-knowing look. His grin – no matter how much he tries to bite it down – doesn't escape her observant glare. He licks his lips as he looks at her.

"Just because you're pretty doesn't mean you know everything, shuckette," he chuckles and takes yet another sip, "It's your choice, but it's been months. You'll have to get over him eventually." She knows he's right. She just can't imagine her not thinking about him twenty-four seven.

"Tommy's a slinthead for not seeing what he loses," he adds with an affable, small but not shy smile as he brushes a strand of hair out of her face. If they were friends, she'd consider it a kind, platonic gesture, but they're far from that. She knows Newt since she can remember but he's Thomas' friend, not hers. It's when it hit her he must have come to offer her comfort. She should have been disgusted but she leans in, and that's when Newt moves away leaving her stunned. "What are you doing?"

"C'mon Newt," she scoffs "We both know why you're here," her voice isn't husky like his, but she tries to sound at least endearing. He doesn't move away when her hot breath hits his lips, but he doesn't welcome the closure, either.

"I don't know what you mean, Tee." It's the longest conversation they've ever had – which isn't that long – and he already has a nickname for her. "I just want to help you."

"Help me, then." She brushes her tender lips against his chapped mouth faintly before his hand grabs her shoulder and pushes her back surely but carefully.

"It's not what I meant. I think it's stupid to act like a lovesick puppy when he's never gonna return your feelings. Now you should go to bed, definitely had too much of this." He motions at the moonshine and stands up, begins walking away shortly after, leaving her alone, cold, frustrated, and abased.

When next morning comes, Teresa is incredibly frustrated with herself and her previous actions, yet she's more frustrated with Thomas for making her feel the way he does, and Brenda for stealing him away, but Newt's the one she's the most frustrated at. How dare he come after her? Propose to comfort her only to back away, when she accepted and asked for a little more? She knew he wanted her just as much as she wanted him at that exact moment. She noticed a quick glance he took at her lips, and she saw him licking his lips before he turned away. She heard it in his husky voice as it echoed in the space between them.

She doesn't speak to anyone for the next few days overwhelmed with Newt's words that still run through her mind disturbing her. She focuses on her job, appears on time for meals and during breaks she reads, and no one dares to disturb her. She swallows books like Minho does his moonshine and she fears soon there will be none left. She doesn't mind reading some books a few times, but she's unsure she could leave without a new adventure to discover and it's coming to that.

"You should hook up with someone," Amy tells her after work when they get back to their dorms.

"Oh really?" she laughs it off, "With whom?" Teresa wouldn't mind getting her mind off of Tom – hurting over him is exhausting – that's why she came onto Newt, but they needn't know that.

"I'm sure Michael would be up to it."

"Oh no, don't mess with him unless you feel the same way he does," Penny chimes in. Teresa shakes her head at both of them.

"And that's not gonna happen," she mutters and she can feel both girls exchange a look, "I'll see you guys tomorrow," she bids them goodbye even though they try to get her to come over for a girls' night – Teresa is just not in the mood.

She stops dead in her tracks when she sees Tom in front of her house. He hasn't noticed her yet as he's facing her door knocking on it probably a second time now. She puts her palms on her hips with a content smile as she admires the view. He came to her without Brenda and she can't help a spark of hope ignite inside her.

"Oh, hi," he rubs the back of his neck nervously when he sees her.

"Hi," she answers beaming like a fool she knows she is, "What are you doing here?"

"It's been a while since we last talked. I wanted to see how you were doing."

"I'm great." _Now, I definitely am._ "Do you want to come in?"

"Maybe some other time, I have plans for tonight and I still need to finish my job," he stated with a sad, affable smile, "But I'm glad you're alright. I wasn't really sure… You like your new um crew?"

"Their sense of humor is nothing compared to Minho's, but other than that they're fine." She loves she still manages to make him laugh when the sound carries itself right to her ears.

"Good that. Well, see you around." She sees him off with her gaze and sighs when he's too far away to see. She hides in her home before anyone can notice her staring – she's glad she lives at the end of the camp and barely anyone comes.

Few weeks pass and Teresa feels her hope fade away slowly. Tom doesn't really come to visit her anymore. They catch up from time to time, but Brenda barely leaves his side. It's like she's glued to his hip and Teresa does everything not to rip her away.

Vince announces another bonfire, another useless celebration Teresa tries to avoid like a plague, but Amy and Penny order her to go.

"It might be good for you. Go, have a drink, dance a little, hook up with somebody," they suggest. Teresa has none of that, though the alcohol could make her lighten up a bit for a time being. "I bet Michael would be up to that" Amy chuckles and Teresa's eyes roll independently.

"Yeah, that won't happen. Let's make a deal… I'll go, but both of you will stop talking about Michael." She's glad she's never told them anything about Tom. She's well aware they would never let this go and press her to hook up even harder. Amy and Penny shared a look before they turned to face her again.

"Deal," they said in unison, "But you should still have some fun, mingle, and stuff… hook-ups are great ways to relax for a bit. All of us need that, there's no shame. And if you're scared, I heard every guy gets condoms from Vince just in case…" Penny added.

"Heard?" Teresa raised an eyebrow. _Who is she kidding?_

"More or less, but you get the point." She shrugged. "So…?"

"I'll come. Don't expect anything else," Teresa highlights the last part.

"It's your loss, girl."

Teresa comes just as she promised, but she barely speaks to anyone. Gally gives her a drink and she tries to find a familiar face, but the area seems suddenly too big and too dark to notice anyone. She finishes her drink abruptly and it gives her a slightly blurry view, but she ignores it and takes another one. She drinks it too quickly as well and wanders around the camp stumbling every now and then. Whatever Gally did to the recipe, made it twice as strong.

"Tee?" She turns to the familiar accent. Newt stands there with his brows furrowed and one hand on his hip. "You alright there?" She snickers, bringing her palm to suppress a hiccup. She manages to take another sip before he walks up to her and withdraws the glass gently from her. "Where's your hut?"

"Pff, nice try, Newton," she mocks and tries to bring the jar back to her mouth, yearning more – yearning oblivion – but Newt stops her once again.

"You're drunk," he states more to himself before taking the glass away from her, leaving it on the ground, "Where do you leave?" She scans him, looking for clues that might help her solve the big mystery that he is.

"In suburbs, five minutes from library," words roll off her tongue unwillingly. He carefully captures her wrist with one hand and with another placed on her back he guides her to her chambers. She almost falls three times but doesn't laugh after the second time. She feels uneasy with all the sorry looks Newt gives her, but she doesn't comment as her mind wonders to what Penny said earlier.

 _Hook-ups are great ways to relax for a bit. All of us need that, there's no shame._

She rethinks those words over and over as they wreck her mind slowly. She stares at Newt, his sandy-blond waves are a bit longer than when she first met him; his brown irises are much darker than Tom's but they're brightened by two thin gold circles around his pupil, his square jaw is perfectly shaved and she wonders how it'd feel under her sensitive uvula.

 _Whoa, calm down, you're no Penny and this is Newt you're thinking about!_

He notices her staring, but so does she; his light grin that promptly disappears. But she saw and she – or rather her drunk self – won't let it go. They somehow make it and Newt kicks the door open with his foot and guides her to the bed.

 _Alright, that wasn't hot at all! –_ She tries to outsmart her mind, but she can feel herself growing hotter, and she knows it's not the alcohol. He helps her to the bed, lifts the blanket to lay her under it, and she falls on her butt.

"Alright, you should be fine now, shouldn't you?" He doesn't really await an answer as he takes his hands off of her and walks away.

 _Hook-ups are great ways to relax for a bit. All of us need that, there's no shame._

 _Oh, fuck it!_

She stands up and walks after him, she supports herself on her desk and he turns around to see her leaning on it. She folds her arms and puts on the sliest smirk as she shamelessly checks him out. His mouth opens, but she interrupts him before any sound can leave his larynx.

"How about you come here and help me out?" She smirks, leaning onto a desk and pushing a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Teresa, what… what are you doing?" She suppresses a need to roll her eyes at his faked innocence. She walks toward him slowly, making sure to sway her hips seductively – their eyes never break contact. She stops when there's barely two inches separating their bodies and she can already feel his heat on her pale skin. She lets her hand wander up his stomach, and he doesn't stop her nor does he encourage her. Only when her hands fly to his belt he catches her wrists in his warm palms. "You're drunk," he shakes his head and she feels scolded like a toddler, "You won't even remember this tomorrow."

"I'm not that drunk," she argues.

"Yes, you are." With his hands on her arms, he pushed her away, putting few inches of space between them.

"Alright, I am drunk," she admitted, "but not drunk enough for you to feel guilty for taking advantage." First she leaned in again, but instead capturing his lips she felt a trail of hot, wet kisses on his jaw. Feeling him shiver under her sudden touch, she smirked against his skin, but Newt wasn't giving in.

"You'll regret it," he confronted her again, separating them one more time.

"Then I'll only have myself to blame," she moves toward him, but with his firm palms, he stops her.

"I'm not Tommy," he contradicts.

"I'm not blind!" She rolls her eyes as frustration gets the better of her. "Please, Newt, please." Her baby blue irises wander back and forth from his eyes to his lips. "Please," she murmurs, her hot breath collides with his complexion and she sees his eyes darkened like they are clouded by the battle that goes inside his mind.

She lets her eyelids falter when the back of his hand begins to caress her cheekbone. She waits for him to do something, anything; the wait being the biggest torture yet. And then he whispers,

"Tell me to stop," he almost begs, but she faintly shakes her head.

"No," Teresa mumbles. She wonders if he's right. What if she regrets it later? Yet she yearns closure and oblivion. Maybe girls are right maybe it will help her, maybe it'll put her mind at ease, maybe it will erase Tom from her mind for a while. "Newt we both want this, so-" He doesn't let her finish.

Newt collides their lips hungrily, greedily, needy and she allows it, welcomes it, embraces and encourages it. She fists the material of his shirt in her petite palms, pulling him as close as she only can. Her hands dance around his stomach to his hips and back, while her breasts crush against his chest.

She can feel goose bumps form on the back of her neck, whilst his tongue trails her bottom lip, and she opens her mouth as he tilts her face to devour her mouth. She moans into his him and they stumble back, her ass hits the side of the desk and he helps her sit on it, separating their lips for a few seconds.

"Tell me to stop," he mumbles against her neck, planting quick kisses as his mouth travels up to her ear. As a reply, she backs her hips against his. Breath hitches in her throat when he bits onto her earlobe and tugs it faintly. She wraps her legs around his hips desperate for his heat.

"Newt," she gasps when she feels his fingertips go under her shirt. As she doesn't stop him – even encourages him by raising her hands – he takes it off quickly and throws it aside. For a second she remembers her bra is not exactly exquisite, but Newt's already working to unclasp it, so she focuses on the feeling of him.

 _Fuck, Penny was right._ – She thinks awaiting a release, and her bra is suddenly gone. She places both of her hands in his hair and tugs him toward her skin as he bits onto her collarbone. With his hands on her ribs, his thumb caresses over her tit.

"Bloody hell, you're beautiful," he confesses and her tensed muscles – she wasn't even aware of the action until now – relax.

"Please," she moans – for now, it's the only word she remembers - and he looks up to meet her gaze. His eyes are darker and it makes golden circles stand out even more; she licks her lips at the sight.

"Tell me what you want, Tee." He pecks flesh just above her left breast. She groans, disbelieving he would actually make her do this.

"I want your lips and your tongue," she whines struggling to put his mouth where she currently wants it. He complies and trails a path of wet kisses accompanied with short licks, putting a crimson blush on cleavage.

"Ah… Newt, please," she begs, aching for him to suck her tit. He leaves a hot breath on her already hard nipple before he looks up, fighting against her grip.

"I'm not gonna do anything you don't want me to," he mumbles with a wanton grin, letting her know he will have her begging. She needs a moment to collect her thoughts and think of a coherent request.

"You can have me any way you want me," she bites her lip again in triumph when he mutters curses against her skin. The abrupt bust of confidence surprises even her, making her smirk. _Two can play the game._

"Oh, I will," he grins against her shoulder planting kisses there as his breaths come in pants, "And I'm gonna take my time with you." Torture doesn't seem so sweet anymore. "I'll take bloody good care of you."

"Please!" she whines. His faint kisses and a soft touch under both her boobs are too little for Teresa and she swears if he doesn't pick up his pace any time soon she'll kick him out and take care of herself. "I n-need your mouth on my breast," she practically screams her request at him, knowing exactly how desperate it makes her look. Not even a second passes before he complies. Her nails dig into his skull and his neck as her eyes roll back in pleasure as he sucks and licks over and over again. She feels bolt travel down to her core and she buckles her hips against his and she feels him harden underneath his khakis.

With a hand on her back, Newt steadies her and moves his attention to her other tit, repeating his previous actions. As his other hand paints circles on her covered with shorts hipbone. He grunts hearing her pant violently and he pulls away, leaving her desperately whining.

"Newt?" she exhales shakily as if she's asking he stopped all of the sudden. He captures her jaw and connects their mouths again, their noses bumping against one another as their tongues fight for dominance.

"I want to feel how wet you are," he groans against her lips. His hand wanders down between her legs and his thumb pushes against the denim that covers the place she needs him the most.

"Soaking," she encourages him quickly too caught up in her own pleasure to form a sentence.

"Should I check that?" He grins; his hand is already working on the button.

"Yeah," she cries out impatiently. She lets go of him, placing her hands on the wooden desk lifting her hips enough for him to drag the shorts down along with her panties. She's left completely naked, while he still has even his jacket on, but she forgets it all when he gets on his knees and with his hands squeezing her arse he brings her to the edge of the desk and he licks her folds slowly. His palms leave her butt and with one digging into her thigh and another helping his mouth slowly devour her.

He teases her entrance while he licks, nibbles and blows hot breaths at her clit. She chokes on her own moans when he lazily pushes his finger inside her. She places her hands on his shoulders, scratching his skin, whilst he thrusts another finger inside her and slowly begins to move them.

"Fuck! Faster," she orders.

When he abruptly increases his speed, she gasps his name, awaiting the luscious release he holds her from. He pulls away from her clit to murmur something against it and she barely registers the words, "Shuck, I can hear how wet you are."

"Mhm…" she mewls. He turns his attention back to her clit and sucks hard, his fingers scissoring inside her for a moment and then hit her G-spot. Her walls tighten around them and she shakes violently against him giving into the blinding pleasure as everything turns white and she screams his name, "There, ugh… Newt!"

When Teresa comes down from her orgasm, she finds herself in a warm embrace as Newt rocks her, lightly pecking the flushed flesh of her neck as he whispers sweet nothings.

Though she feels lightheaded the bulge in his pants is evident and Teresa feels a sudden need to wrap her hand around his thick shaft and pump it until he screams her name. Yet, before her hand can reach his pants he puts his palm over it with such tenderness it allures and confuses her at the same time. She can still feel his rough tongue on her clit, yet the look he gives her almost convinces her she must have made it up because he looks too angelic, too innocent, and too soft.

"You should sleep. We're starting work at dawn," he whispers with a soft smile gracing his manly features. She opens her mouth to contradict, but no words leave her mouth. Though her voice betrayed her, her eyes glance questioningly and somehow longingly – which she prays he doesn't notice – at his boner. "Oh, it's fine," he assures her, that damn smile never leaving his face and with his kind words she wishes she could go on her knees and make that mouth groan filthy words just as she was.

"But-" he shakes his head and squeezes her delicately, the touch is so faint once again she doubts she didn't imagine it.

"Seriously, Teresa, it's fine. Good night." He squeezes her hand one more time before he takes her to bed, tucks her under the blanket, and leaves. Her gaze follows him and even after he shuts the door behind himself she's still looking, trying to put the puzzles together to discover what makes Newt so… she can't find the right word to describe him and it frustrates her. She sighs in defeat and lays under the covers keeping her from investing the mystery that he is to her.


	2. the silliest girls

She hates gossiping – especially about her own experience – but she hates not knowing more. That's why she finds herself in Penny's room confiding about last night's hook up. Teresa is not proud of saying anything, but she needs to know what she did wrong.

"So you want to have sex with him?" Penny's voice is graced with confusion.

"I wouldn't go that far… I just want to be fair to him, I guess."

"You want to blow him," she states, her lips bend in a wicked smirk.

"So, he's a giver and that bothers you?" Penny asks in disbelief. "Whoever he is, if you don't want him I'll take him," she laughs but something tells Teresa there's nothing fake about Penny's statement.

"But he walked out… unsatisfied, I guess?" Teresa doesn't have a way to put her experience into words.

"Maybe he was scared you'd pass out on his dick?" Teresa doesn't laugh at the waspish remark. "I mean, you were pretty wasted last night."

"You saw me?" Fear almost tears Teresa's vocal cords in half. _Is it possible she knows I was with Newt?_

"Yeah, you stick, 'course I did. I was taking refills of my drink too, duh," she erupts in laugher, making Teresa regret she even came, but she acknowledges she had nowhere else to go. "So… Is there more you want to tell me?" Excitement fills her voice and it almost takes Teresa leave. Almost – she's too stubborn to do that.

"How do you… talk dirty?" It comes as shy as Teresa feels about it, and though last night she thinks she did manage, but she felt a bit awkward… requesting and begging for what her body demanded.

"Oh, that's easy." Penny waves her off with a huff, not noticing Teresa's shyness about the topic – or maybe she has just got used to it already. "It all depends on what you're comfortable with."

"Well, I'm…"

"How about I try to tell you some stuff since you look like you're about to throw up." _Oh, she did notice…_ "And you probably won't tell me last night details." Teresa shakes her head just like Penny thought she would. "Alright," she sounds disappointed, "let's pretend I'm that guy. If I told you I was going to fuck you so hard the only thing you'd remember was his name…" Teresa gulps. "How'd ya fill about it?"

In all truth Teresa can't imagine almost angel-looking-like Newt to ever say stuff like that, but she also never imagined him twitching his tongue inside of her as she begged him for release. She has to take deep breath for the memory suddenly becomes too vivid and sends fire to her core. She briefly closes her eyes, trying to picture Newt saying the exact same words.

She would imagine hearing them from Minho if they ever found themselves in this kind of situation, but he might have as well look in the mirror as his glowing from sweat skin stretched as his muscles tensed.

She pictures Newt above her, or behind her. His hot breath hits her skin as he husky accent carry the words. She can almost feel him thrust into her with one, sharp and hard motion.

"Oh, you're _so_ into it!" Penny's peep reminds Teresa where she is. Her cheeks hit up immediately and Teresa feels like running back to her hut and hiding under sheets of a bed.

"But it's not about what I like. It's about what I say." Her sudden confidence surprises them both.

"It depends on what he said." Penny doesn't give up. So she tells her how he asked her what she wanted of him, where she wanted him. She wants to tell Penny how his raspy accent aroused her, but since he's the only guy with an accent on the camp she stops herself – that much privacy she wants to keep.

"We should go get breakfast." Puff – her confidence is gone again. Yet, the bells, announcing breakfast, ring and Penny agrees to go.

"It's not over yet, though," she threatens, "I'm gonna teach ya everything I know!" Teresa can only gulp but on the other hand she's thankful. It seems stupid to her that she'd want to impress Newt – maybe even get him laid – but she knows one thing she needs to step up her game so next time no one walks out on her.

What surprises her is Newt behaviour at breakfast. She sits with her old friends when he bids her 'hello' with a grin which is nothing but genuine. He doesn't look orgulous nor tall in the saddle. It makes her wonder if she didn't make last night up. They're engaged in a civil conversation with Fry, Minho and Gally, but she can hardly focus on stories they tell.

It's when she's kicked lightly in the right foot that she realizes Newt looks her up with a corner of his eye, which in this light looks amber, and she can't see gold circles from last night. But with this one look she knows; he's kept it a secret. Her smile receives a quick, almost unnoticeable nod. She's not sure what it all means – at least with Tom she had telepathy; but he refuses to use it now… She doesn't know what to expect from Newt now. Is he making sure she's alright after last night? Does he want a rerun?

Before she can ask him he leaves; her gaze lingers on his back a while too long, but no one seems to notice, so she moves on. She'll wait for the evening. She'll wait to see if he comes.

She finds herself back at Penny's sooner that she'd like, and though she doesn't tell her details about her encounter at breakfast she mentions the looks she was given and asks if it would mean anything. She doesn't know if it's a matter of pride that makes her so curious, but either way she needs to know what Newt meant and how she should react.

And Penny is very opened about her own experience. She says too many details that Teresa would definitely leave without, but somehow it puts her at ease. It seems Penny 'tried out' at least half of the camp and Teresa has to bite her tongue, curiosity almost taking over, not to ask if she's been with Newt; she can't explain it, but it would hurt her if she has.

"It's different with each guy," she snickers, "I don't know how close you're with the one from last night, but… from what you told me he is the tease type-"

"Whatever the hell that means." Teresa rolls her eyes mostly at her own unawareness.

"It means that he likes to make to talk and beg-"

"Great." She doesn't even realize the cold mutter went passed her lips. To her surprise Penny giggles and brushes her off.

"Oh, hun, no need to get your panties in a twist! It's sexy and builds their confidence!"

Hearing who Penny has hooked up with is not a perfect afternoon for Teresa but she has to admit it teaches her something. Penny makes her talk, she teases her with her words to get a reaction from Teresa, to prepare her – and Teresa is more thankful than she'd ever admit.

The beginning is hard and awkward as Penny tries to explain kinks – which there's no need for, Teresa knows what kink means – and tells her not to worry if she's not really into all the sex talk.

"Not everyone likes to be called slut or sir, or hear that their owned… So we'll start with something light…" She takes a moment to think before she opens her mouth again. "Like when you kiss you can tell him how good he tastes or that you'd get drunk only off the taste of you or smell."

"And what if he says that? What am I supposed to say then?"

"You can just kiss him again or be playful about it, dare him. Try it on me," she suggests with a smirk and Teresa has to exhale heavily to prepare herself for Penny's laugher at her failed attempt.

She visits Penny again and again until a next party – she doesn't dare to face Newt while she's sober. She avoided him pretty well excluding times they shared a glance at dinner or a grin –which surprisingly and thankfully wasn't snooty – he offered her every now and then.

She doesn't want to talk to him yet, too afraid she'd embarrass herself. Though she has to admit she feels more… sexy. She can finally speak without stuttering, move more freely.

"Relax your shoulders," Penny guides her, "Bent your head a bit to the side and smile innocently." They're standing in front of a mirror as Teresa learns all about body talk. She's glad Penny brought some alcohol from Fry – who obviously couldn't resist her. "And talk!"

She stumbles out of Penny's hut with a giggle and goes down, looking for her hut. She hits something on her way and feels a press of something firm on her arm. She turns around slowly, too intoxicated to notice someone standing next to her.

"We gotta stop meeting like this, Tee." _God, that accent!_ "Are you alright?" He looks her up quickly, putting his warm palm on her cheek to keep her steady.

"Newt!" she hiccups with excitement, "Just in time you're here!"

"And you're talking bloody weird. Why were you drinking? It's not even seven! Bloody hell, woman," he sighs and puts an arm around her back, leading her straight to her hut, making sure she doesn't trip.

"I finished my lesson."

"That doesn't make sense; it is: learnt my lesson." Teresa erupts in laughter, and he stops to stare at her, his eyes boring into her as if he was seeking the reason of her behaviour.

"But I did! I have! I… well I know what to do know!"

"That's great, Tee., but let's get you to bed now, alright?"

"Mm, tradition… What you got tired of desks?"

She didn't realize when they entered her hut but before she knows it he sits her on her bed and lightly pushes her to lie down.

"You're wasted… again," he states more to himself, "Do you need anything? Tea? Water? Food? A basket?"

"Oh, Newtie! C'mon you know what I need." She lifts herself up, cocking her head teasingly just like Penny showed her to. "And I know what you need," she adds in a whisper, her voice is husky but she doesn't know if it's because of alcohol. She puts her hands on his belt and urged him closer, reaching for the fly. His firm grip stops her, though.

"I need to leave before we do something you regret," he says, "If you still need me come when you're sober." With that gets out quickly, leaving her stunned with mouth wide opened.

"Okay, he was so sure you'd pass out on his dick!" Penny snickers, making Teresa roll her eyes.

"Can you stop repeating yourself?" She folds her arms over her chest, legs crossed one above the other as she frowns. "Better tell me what to do now."

"Well, he already told you what to do."

"And I'm just supposed to go to him and tell him I wanna blow him?"

"Alright either be more subtle about it or more filthy because that was the biggest turn off I've ever heard and trust me I heard lots." Teresa leaves before Penny can start rumbling about all her hook ups.

She goes straight to Newt's hut but stops in front of his door to fidget and think about what she's about to do. He offered her come when she's sober. _Stop lying to yourself._

She wonders if he finds her desperate – honestly she kind of is and she knows that. It worries her how much power he seems to hold even though they haven't done that much yet. _Yet._

Her knuckles lightly hit the light wood, but it's enough to hear footsteps on the other side. He opens but his usual grin doesn't welcome her. There's something different about his expression – he's calm as usual but without his usual smile he seems… distant.

"I wasn't sure if you'd come," he admits, letting her in.

"Yeah… I had my doubts, too." Silent fills the room but doesn't last long as Newt begins to rumble.

"I never told anyone about what happened."

"Neither did I." _Liar._ – she wonders if he detects the lie.

His nod is slow and his eyes seem clouded.

"I'm sorry. You were drunk and I took advantage of that."

"No, you didn't. I might've been drunk but I wanted that."

"Oh… So?"

"What do you think? You told me to come if… So here I am. You might as well do something about it." She crosses the distant between in a matter of seconds to capture his cheeks in her palms and bring their mouths together.


	3. Chapter 3

She breathes in the morning air as the sun rises over the Safe Heaven. She often finds herself, not because of nightmares - no she hardly ever has those - it's somewhat fear that, eventually, they will pay a visit and she won't be able to get rid of them. That's why she reads as much as she only can - to leave all that's wrong, unfair and hurtful behind her and indulge in another world with problems easier to solve.

She _treasures_ books telling stories from old days. She often imagines herself living in a huge residence with marble halls as Thomas - her ardent beau - courts her audaciously.

It's not fair to Newt, but then their arrangement has never had any rules, except keeping it private. So, Teresa never confined in Penny again - even though she was very cogent and her biggest passion turned out to be sticking her nose where it's not wanted - has only told her little things or at least she thought she has. The last talk they had was quite embarrassing, and Teresa would much rather expunge it.

 _"So you don't have sex with him, after all?" The disappointment was clear in Penny's voice._

 _"Haven't you listened to the word I've just said? We have... plenty of sex." Saying it out loud was as perplexing as Teresa expected._

 _"But it's not really sex, is it?" she dragged the topic out. Teresa was still as awkward when it came to talking about matters like this. It didn't help that Penny found it so exciting, either._

 _So, yes, maybe Newt didn't exactly put his penis in her vagina. So what? His fingers and tongue were diligent enough. And considering his reaction so were hers._

 _"It really doesn't bother you?"_

 _"Why would it?" It wasn't that Teresa didn't want to... share herself - she was already doing that. It was just that every time she thought Newt would... he didn't. It was weird, but Teresa daren't question him, after all, he didn't question her - anymore that is._

She gets up and goes to the canteen to get some breakfast before work. She stopped eating with her old friends the moment she and Newt began secretly meeting. She still talked to them - preferably when Newt wasn't around, she was scared she would give the two of them away.

She liked whatever there was between them. Newt's kept his space, allowing her to have hers. He always comes after twilight settles above the valley, making sure no one notices him and leaves a while after they're done. As far as she's concerned it works both ways.

"I found a book for you," Penny greets her with a beam. She hands her a dark-blue cover. Its pages are a bit yellow, torn and scrunched up in a few places. "I think you'll find it pretty helpful," she winks.

Teresa doesn't open her book until she reaches her hut. Soon she finds herself skipping a few pages every chapter, finding the book unbearable. _"He steps out of his Converse shoes and reaches down and takes his socks off individually. Christian Grey's feet - wow - what is it about naked feet?"_ \- _How... Why... Why?! Why has Penny thought it was a good book for her? The protagonist doesn't seem to think anything else than 'Oh dear Barbossa!' not to mention she blushes all the time!_

It doesn't take her long to throw the book away, letting it land somewhere on the floor as she groans.

"Hello to you, too," Newt greets her with his usual pearly grin. He peeks up the book with a raised eyebrow, waiting for her to tell him the story behind her aggravation but all she gives him is a shake of her head.

"Hi," she sighs.

"Is it a bad time?"

"Nope." She stands up to take the book away from him. He decides to get on her tits and lifts the book in the air, refusing to give it to her. "Newton!" she threatens him. "You know what?" she says as she struggles to whip the book out of his hand. "You can keep it. It sucks anyway."

"Does it? Let me take a look." He hops on her bed with 'thud' sound and opens the book halfway as he begins to read aloud, "I nod, wide-eyed, my heart bouncing off my ribs, my blood thundering around my body." He stops, gaze focused on the sentence he has just read _. "Bouncing off my ribs?"_ he sneakers as he looks back at Teresa. "I'm not a doctor nor have I ever had a biology lesson but... bloody hell is it how this works?"

"I told you not to read that," she huffs.

"What would you have me read then?" She doesn't answer him at first, thinking he's making fun of her, but as she scans his face, she finds genuine interest and decides to give him one of the books she has borrowed.

Her eyes carefully go over a small collection of not yet returned books - not that anyone minded; barely anyone on the camp bothered stopping by a library - on a petite bookshelf above her desk until her sea-like eyes reached "Ten Little Niggers".

He delicately caresses the rundown cover, and she can't help but admire the way he treated the little gift.

"It's a bloody whodunit story. Are you trying to tell me something?"

She smirks - something she hardly ever does- and spoke up,

"You're finally catching up." Her terrible performance of a threat lacked only an overdramatic _'mwahaha'_ at the end. He snickers at her horrendous attempt to scare him, and with a head shake, he opens the book.

"Are you going to read it now?"

"Yeah, why? Did ya have anything else in mind?" He raises his eyebrow. There is some kind of a force in a way he looks at her that almost makes her crawl to him. Instead, she grabs another book for herself with a beam.

"Not really. No," she laughs. She waits for him to tear the book away from her and crush her with his weight on the bed. Instead, he scooted so she would have more place on the bed to sit comfortably.

She falls asleep in his arms, the book opened and facing his abdomen.

She wakes up to an empty and lukewarm bed with only a blanket atop her. Her book lays closed next to her pillow, and she finds a small piece of paper marking the last page she read the previous night. Last night - despite being different from what she expected it to be - was wonderful. She's never known she could spend some time with someone without speaking and enjoy it so much.

She spots Newt at the same table as always with Minho and Thomas already there. She considers joining them but is too diffident when she sees Brenda wrapped in her love's arms.

So just like every other day, she sits with her new crew, glancing at the pair warily every now and then.

She's let off work early as there is nothing left for her to do that day. Instead of going to lunch, she goes straight to her house for a blanket and a book and heads toward the beach.

Sun barely makes it through the clouds and every now and then a cold breeze makes her shiver, but she doesn't mind. She's become quite appreciative of the chilly weather after spending so much time at the scorch.

She takes off her snickers to let her feet drown in a cool sand as she looks for a perfect spot. After thirty minutes of walking, she decides she has found the perfect and secluded enough place for her to rest. She shakes the last thoughts of Tom and Brenda out of her mind and sits on the rough blanket.

If she could go back in time she would have brought a hoody with her – _the scorch_ \- she reminds herself to get rid of unpleasant shivers. It helps only a bit but it's enough for her mind to focus on the book.

" _He shall never know I love him: and that, not because he's handsome, but because he's more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made out of, his and mine are the same."_

She doesn't hear his footsteps as he approaches, she just feels a weight rest next to her and wrap an arm around her. And even though she came here to get away from everyone and read, she appreciates his presence.

She wants to put down her book to talk to him - she believes that's just politeness she owns him - but he stops her,

"No, don't interrupt yourself." But she barely manages to finish a chapter, curious as to why he went so far after her. "I wanted to bring you lunch, but Fry wouldn't let me get any dishes outside the camp so..."

"That's fine," she whispers with a grateful smile.

"I brought tea though." He turns to lift to mugs - his half empty - but the beverage is cold as ice. She takes a small sip, but it tastes like plastic and her brows furrow in disgust before she puts the mug away.

She focuses her gaze on Newt or much rather on his white hoodie that she can't help but yearns to put her hands on.

"Can you give me your hoodie?" she asks. He doesn't react at first, too focused on his drink, then he puts the mug away as well and stares at the sea. "I'm cold," she adds, but still doesn't get a reply. "Newt?"

"Alright," he says at the sound of his name, "But you have to go for a swim with me first," he smirks.

"What?! You're kidding right?"

"Nope." He stands up and takes off his hoodie, and begins waving it in front of her face only to raise it above his head when she tries to reach it. "Bloody hell, T! It'll be fun. C'mon," he offers his hand. She takes it with a frown and stands up.

"The water must be freezing. We'll get sick!"

"So we'll get few days off of work," the grin never fades, "And you'll get the hoodie." He waves it in front of her again.

"After that," she motions the ocean, "I'll need at least three."

"I can always wave my magic wand and get you one. Please, T!" he begs. When she doesn't move, he brings an arm around her and brings her closer to distract her with a kiss as his other hand works on her jeans.

"What are you doing?" she mumbled against his lips.

"Manhandling you," he snickered. Newt lifts her up, throwing her on his shoulder before she can argue and carries her to the water.

"Newton, put me down!" she commands, but he just laughs,

"Bloody hell, did you just call me Newton?"

"Newt!"

"All right, all right." But the waves almost touch their feet at this point. "Just try, alright? I'll be waiting there for you," he winks, throwing his shoes off and then his pants and boxers. "C'mon," he yells, "I've already seen you naked, T."

 _It's not that!_ \- she thinks nervously as she refuses to give in.

Teresa watches him get further into the ocean until she can't see him anymore. Her jeans are loose, but she doesn't bother to zip them again. Instead, she watches Newt fight with the choppy water until she doesn't see his blond locks anymore.

"Newt?" she whispers, her voice shaky. She repeats his name, screaming this time. "Fuck," she mutters under her breath and quickly throws off all her clothing before she runs into the waves. "Newt!" she tries again.

"Boo!" he reveals himself.

"Jesus!" she jumps. Her hand finds its way over to her heart as she tries to calm it with few deep breaths. "You shuckass!" She hits his chest as he tries to embrace her.

"Shuckass? I like it," he grins.

"God, I hate you," she mumbles with relief.

"Well, I got you to get into the water, didn't I?"

"You did, and as I predicted it's freezing!" she argues as her teeth chatter. She's sure her lips are livid at this point.

"I'll warm you up," he brings her close. She swears his body heat increased, and against herself - because she's still so frustrated with him - she wraps her arms around his chest and steals as much of it as she can.

Few drops fall from his messy her onto her shoulder and he bends his head to kiss them all away. The gesture brings the first pleasant shiver she had on the beach that day. And Newt doesn't stop. He leaves a path of hot kisses up her neck to behind her ear. A mellow moan escapes her lips as she feels him harden.

"Let's go," he whispers right into her ear. But she doubts she can make it back to the camp with the by now well-known burning sensation down her core.

"No," she manages to say before their lips collide. It's hot and passionate, needy and impatient. And it ends too quickly.

"I thought you were cold."

"Not anymore." This time he kisses her, opening her mouth, his teeth biting into her lower lip and then their tongues are dancing together all the while he guides her out of the ocean.

Clumsy as she is, she trips when they almost make it out and lands on her back with him on top. Neither of them cares.

His mouth leaves her to attack her collarbone as his hand slowly reaches her clit. At the first contact, Teresa arches her back for more but soon slaps it away.

"Huh?" He raises his head in surprise.

"I need your cock," she whines before she has time to rethink it. She swears he's dumbstruck for a second or two before he manages to choke out a, "I got a condom in my jeans." They stare at each other for a while as if trying to understand what he has just said.

"Okay..." she whispers at last, but it takes him another second to actually get up. She hears him tear the packaging before he comes back with the condom already on.

Newt hesitantly gets on top of her, waves swooping over her body every two seconds. She wonders what he waits for until he asks,

"Are you sure about that?" The question seems stupid- they might have not been together in exactly that way before but they did have sex. And then it hits her. She wouldn't think of it herself, she was sure she wanted him, but the moment he asked she was truly sure.

"Yeah," she smiles. He kisses her one more time, this time it's slow and tender. One more look into her eyes before he finally moves into her.

And whether she feels any discomfort or pain the waves wash it all away.


	4. Chapter 4

They barely make it to her hut as Newt spends at least ten minutes wondering what to do with the used condom because they refuse to throw it into the ocean or leave it on the beach.

"I'll just come back for it tomorrow," he mumbles.

Later they stop midway, even though, it's cold because Newt tells her he can warm her up and who is she to refuse? So they spend thirty minutes just wrapped around each other before he cups her through her jeans and she's a goner.

"Newt," she whimpers when he takes it away. He does it only to slip it back after he stumbles to unzip her jeans.

She grinds onto his palm, and he flips her clit with his thumb until she comes, juices pool in her panties. Teresa's knees go even weaker as she watched him lick his hand clean _Is there something not sexual about this man?_

Next time they stop after reaching the camp. They are still in the forest when Teresa notices a conspicuous bulge in his pants and decides to take care of it. Instead, he slams her against the nearest tree with her back to his chest.

"Keep quiet," he doesn't add that he will stop if she doesn't comply, but despite that, she takes the order seriously. If anyone heard them, it would become quite embarrassing and difficult in a matter of heartbeats.

She braces herself, one palm holding onto a branch, the other against a tree as he enters her.

DELIGHTFUL - she thinks as he gives her time to adjust with a slow pace. Their pants are at their knees making every move that much difficult, but she doesn't care as long as his movements become harder and faster. With a hand on her back, he pushes her lower, at the same time kissing her spine and mumbling, "You're such a good girl."

She doesn't know why it affects her so much, but her hips buckle nonetheless.

Teresa wakes up to a familiar warmth and bare skin burning under her hand and cheek.

"Hi," she says to him, seeing his eyes open slowly. He looks down at her with a soft smile.

"Hi."He pecks her forehead. "Sleep well?"

"Yeah." She wants to ask him why this time he stayed. Words die on her tongue, and instead, she kisses him full on the mouth.

"I haven't brushed my teeth yet."

"So?" He grins and kisses her.

While she takes a shower - because she hates it when her hair is greasy, and now it is greasy and filled with sand - Newt goes back to get changed. She's supposed to meet him at a canteen, but she ain't sure sitting at the same table with their friends is a good idea. After all, they haven't told anyone about their... arrangement, and she doesn't exactly want it to slip out. What would Tom think of her, if he found out, is the only thing she can think about.

God, what she wouldn't do to get a moment with him alone. It's been a while since they had a chance to talk. She blames Brenda and her constant presence. Teresa hates everytime she sees Brenda lean on Tom's muscular shoulder, and resents the thought of them together in any way - and she knows exactly they are together in every way.

The thought itself makes her cringe - along with the water which has turned cold - and she almost runs out of the shower.

Instead of going to the canteen, as she told Newt she would, she heads straight to work - not only does Tom have her obsessed with him but also ironically with her work.

Moroseness keeps her from focusing which is noticed rather quickly by Penny and Amy. Perforce she tells them it must be the weather that makes her dizzy. Whether they buy it or not, remains a mystery Teresa doesn't care to solve. They try to get her to talk - gossip really - and convince her to join them for lunch. She politely refuses and stays behind to enjoy more of her book.

The austere silence she has comfortably stayed in for a while is interrupted suddenly by a light knock. She still manages to drop her book in surprise when her eyes find Newt's.

"Hello," 'h' barely rolls off of his tongue, but she catches it.

"Hi..." she says with a raised eyebrow, "What are you doing here?"

"Well,..." He scratches the back of his neck, while the other rests behind his back. "We were supposed to have breakfast together, but you bailed on me, and now you don't even go to lunch, so..." He reveals a plate from behind him. "I thought I'd bring you some."

"Oh, thanks." She takes the meal from him in gratitude.

"Bad day, huh?" He takes a seat next to her as he watches her struggle with eating. She almost says yes, until flashbacks of the previous night appear in front of her eyes and she bites her tongue - she wouldn't want to hurt his pride.

"You just wore me out."

"Eat up then. Will give ya more energy." So she does even though, she really isn't that hungry. "You sure you're okay?" She's dizzy and shivers slightly every now and then, but she tells him that _'of course she is okay'._ It doesn't convince him, but he lets her finish the food - which ferociously burns her throat - before he takes her cheeks in his unbelievably huge palms and rocks her head back and forth until she admits it does hurt.

"It must be a cold," Newt whispers to himself.

"You're no doctor," Teresa contradicts.

"You technically are, so as the one you should know that best thing to do is go straight to bed." In the end, she simply follows his lead, leaving a short note for her co-workers.

Halfway to her hut, she lets Newt carry, but only so she could steal some of his warmth - and his skin feels like he's on fire against hers, when in reality that is exactly what he could tell her.

He lays her on her bed, and it's the first time it's nonsexual - she doubted she would live to see the day - and it's somehow so gentle and sweet, and caring; she would melt if she wasn't so cold.

"Stay with me?" she whispers, her voice husky and quiet.

"Of course."

"Do you want me to read to you?" With her eyes already closed, she nods with a grin. He takes the same book she dropped back at the infirmary and opens it at a marked page.

 _'While enjoying a month of fine weather at the sea-coast, I was_

 _thrown into the company of a most fascinating creature: a real_

 _goddess in my eyes, as long as she took no notice of me. I 'never_

 _told my love' vocally; still, if looks have language, the merest_

 _idiot might have guessed I was over head and ears: she understood_

 _me at last, and looked a return - the sweetest of all imaginable_

 _looks. And what did I do? I confess it with shame - shrunk icily_

 _into myself, like a snail; at every glance retired colder and_

 _farther; till finally the poor innocent was led to doubt her own_

 _senses, and, overwhelmed with confusion at her supposed mistake,_

 _persuaded her mamma to decamp. By this curious turn of disposition_

 _I have gained the reputation of deliberate heartlessness; how_

 _undeserved, I alone can appreciate.'_

When she wakes up with Newt already gone and she wonders how long she's been asleep.

"Finally!" she hears a high-pitched voice. It's Amy with her arms raised, relief placed on her face - Teresa doubts her well-being caused it.

"Hi? What time is it?" Teresa rasps. "What are you doing here anyway?" Her throat feels lite it was on fire. She looks around for anything to drink, but her head hurts too badly, and she rests it against the pillow again.

"We found your note and we've been taking turns to see if you were getting better." _That's kind of sweet actually._

"Thanks. Do we have some water or tea around?"

"Oh, yeah. Michael brought it with him - I barely kicked him out of here."

"Okay?"

"He was so worried about you! Don't you think that's cute?"

"I... I guess? Can you give me that water?"

"Oh, right!" Teresa's too tired to keep her eyes open, so she waits for Amy to bring her the beverage. "Sleepyhead!" She raises herself on her elbows and takes the bottle of water into her hands. "Anyway, he was so worried!"

"So?" she asks after swallowing.

"Well, shouldn't you be... I dunno appreciative? He clearly has a crush for you."

"Well, I don't, so..." The silent doesn't last too long, Amy's too impatient.

"So, you're not interested because you're hooking up with someone else?"

"I'm just not interested."

"So you are hooking up with someone!" she exclaims like a detective who has just solved a case.

"Amy, not that I mind, but I want to sleep."

"C'mon! Who is it?" she pushed. Teresa sighed heavily and put the bottle away.

"What about you, Amy? Hooking up with someone?" Teresa laid back down on her bed, preparing herself for the longest of talks.


	5. Chapter 5

When Teresa wakes up again, nothing hurts anymore, and it's actually quiet. She assumes everyone's at work until she hears the shower running. She's weak in her knees but manages to get up somehow.

She reaches the bathroom so slowly that she bumps into him as he walks out. His hair is dump and a shade or two darker, but his eyes are as piercing as ever.

His hands move after a moment of shock to grab her by the arms.

"Why ain't you in bed?" Worry fills his voice, and she almost feels guilty - why does she feel guilty?

"I heard the shower going," she says without stuttering, "And I wanted to check who it was." His mouth opens in a shape of an "O", but no sound escapes past his lips. "How long was I... asleep?"

"Two days," he answers calmly already guiding her back to bed.

"No," she mumbles, trying to shrug off his guiding hands. "I wanna go outside." She realizes she sounds like a spoiled brat, but Teresa has had enough of lying in bed, even though, she slept through most of it. "Let's go outside. Let's go to the beach."

Newt - to her surprise - chuckles and shakes his head lightly before he says "I get you're sick from bein' bloody stuck in here all this time, but you still need to rest a bit." He makes a good point, but a groan of disappointment is the only thing she can respond with at the moment,

"But it's boring!"

"Do you want me to get Michael in here to entertain you?" Newt asks with one of his eyebrows raised high, and it takes Teresa so much of her energy not to laugh at what he has just said. Yet, she quickly remembers that it was Amy's place to tease her about Michael and not Newt's.

"What?" A broken chuckle goes past her lips. "How do you even know Michael?"

"Oh, he was there these past few days. Almost all the time." Annoyance graces Newt's voice, and Teresa can't help but laugh.

"It annoys me, too," she admits with a grin. "Now, c'mon make me warm, British boy."

"British boy, huh?" He raises his eyebrow and puts his huge palms on his hips.

"What? You're allowed to give me a nickname, and I'm not?" He shakes his head, trying to get rid of a smile that crept onto his lips before he jumps on the bed next to her. When his arms wrap around her, she moans appreciatively.

"Still think you ain't tired?" he whispers.

"Oh slim it." She falls asleep shortly after while he peppers her neck with kisses.

The next day Teresa feels well enough to get up, shower, get dressed and eat breakfast at the canteen with everyone else. She and Newt go separately like usual, and maybe it's good because she is swarmed by Penny and Amy the moment she enters. She's greeted by cheerful as ever Fry, who keeps her on her feet for good ten minutes, attacking her with his jokes. She doesn't mind, not really. It's actually a good change from a not so comfy bed.

"Oh, bloody hell, Fry, let the girl sit before she faints again." She recognizes the chuckle instantly and imagines the stupid grin on his face.

"Hey, that's a good change!" Teresa argues. But she takes her tray and goes to sit back with her co-workers. "See you, Fry!"

"Feeling better, Teresa," Micheal greets her.

"Yup," she nods. "So... What's new?"

"Not much. It's been kinda boring without you around." _Clim out of my ass already_ \- she thinks. Penny and Amy giggle quietly, and Teresa wishes she could just scowl at them.

"But obviously something had to happen while I was... well gone."

"We got few more patients at the infirmary - were scared it was some kind of plague, but some of them were just faking to get a day off. Oh, and Vince is planning some kind of a... trip."

"Trip?" Teresa looks up from her food, Michael finally gets her attention. That is before Penny chimes in.

"He's trying to get a group of guys who would go with him outside the island to check out the flare situation. Hella dumb if ya ask me."

Teresa can't help but nod in agreement. They're safe here - why the hell interfere with that?

She should have seen it coming. Really, how could she have missed that? It didn't surprise her that Tom went on the stupid mission - and God she's so worried about him - but Newt! What the hell did he think? And with his leg! This idiot is not even immune!  
Teresa has to bite her tongue as to not scream in frustration. She thinks of how cliché it is.

She couldn't find him after work - at first, he just didn't come to see her. When she decided to go get him, he wasn't back at his hut. Finally one of the cooks enlightened her that Minho, Newt, Tom, Fry, Gally, and few others left with Vince and would be gone for a couple of days.

She recalled the breakfast, and what Michael and Penny told her. The fact that Newt decided to go with Vince was stupid, reckless, and _why didn't he tell her?!_

She sits in the canteen, seeping her tea while trying to calm her nerves and gather her thoughts. She wants to do something awful just to teach Newt a lesson, but all the things that come in mind are... dreadful.

"Where are your loud friends? Finally gave you a headache?" Brenda sits down next to Teresa with a satisfied smirk. It takes all of Tee's willpower not to roll her eyes and tell Brenda to fuck off or go away herself.

"What do you want?"

Brunette shrugs, "You just seem worried, and that intrigues me."

"Intrigues you how?" Teresa mumbles dryly.

"I'm worried about Tom. Who are you worried about?" It would be too embarrassingly pathetic to admit that Teresa is still pining after Tom even after he chose Brenda over her. And she can't admit being worried about Newt just because no one's supposed to know of... whatever it is they're doing.

So, she stands up and leaves. Her tea has run cold anyway.

Teresa finds herself with a book on her bed, trying to focus on anything else, but Vince's stupid 'trip'. She fidgets and accidentally rips a page. The damage she does is not too big, a small tear less than an inch long now not-so-much graces the paper.

Teresa cringes anyway.

Stupid Vince and dumb Thomas and fucking Newt! Oh, she is so going to punish him when he comes back!

 _Oh,_ \- a thought evolves in her head, - _Oh!_ \- a wicked smirk displays on her lips.


	6. Chapter 6

**Hello,  
I know it's been a while and I'm sorry it took so long, but I finished high school and had to write lotsss of exams. But now I'm done and ready to write.  
I'm also sorry, but I hate this chapter and it's probably the worst one. I had lots of trouble writing it (I'm not sure why) and I decided to post it as it is, so sorry to everyone who hates it too.  
Runners**

Three days pass before Vince returns to Safe Heaven with the rest of the guys. They don't say much. They smile and nod a lot as everyone crowds them, trying to get as much information of them as only possible. Teresa watches them pass by. Vince goes first with Gally as they whisper something between themselves whenever they're not smiling, and right behind them Tom, Newt and in between them Minho with a huge grin and arms around their shoulders.

She catches Newt steal a quick glance at her, and he nods at her just like he does at everyone else. So when he turns his head to his friends, she walks away.

She considers going back to her hut, instead, she decides to do something crazy - mediocre crazy really.

 _It's stupid._ \- She thinks when she opens the door to Newt's hut. - _Someone's gotta tell Vince to install locks._

Inside the hut looks almost the same as hers - there's a desk, but unlike hers, it's covered in neatly written notes that she daren't touch, a shelf with three books - one being the whodunit story she lent him- a bed and a door to the bathroom.

She grabs one of the books and lies on her side on the bed turned towards the door, hoping Newt will come soon.

Teresa barely has time to find out the plot of the novel, when someone walks in.

Newt doesn't notice her at first. His gaze is on the floor, but she can see dark circles underneath his eyes from the bed. His dirty blond hair is a complete mess - but not the one she likes. He's visibly exhausted, and for a moment it makes her rethink her plan.

His eyes go wide the second he sees Teresa, mouth falls agape - no words come out. She doesn't give him time to form a sentence as she jumps off of the bed and into his arms, bringing his lips to hers in a lascivious kiss.

She pulls him by his shirt towards the bed, and when the back of her legs touches the bed, she spins them.

Teresa makes Newt sit on the bed, breaking their kiss for a few moments before she crawls onto his lap. She can feel him harden underneath her as she rocks her hips.

Beside moans and groans from both of them their unusually quiet. Teresa fears Newt might have her figured out.

She leaves rashed kisses on his neck, her hands already working on his belt.

"Tee-" he starts to whisper in her ear, but she hushes him.

"I wanna try something, okay?" She looks at him, trying to make herself look as chastely as possible. In response, Newt kisses her passionately, and she uses the opportunity to tear his hands off her body. With his belt, she tightens his hands behind his back.

"Teresa..." She interrupts him yet again with another kiss before she gets off of his lap and on her knees. She unzips his pants and drags them down along with his boxers.

Newt looks both confused and in a daze and doesn't question her. She takes his cock in her hand and strokes him.

Newt groans as her hand moves faster before she puts him in her mouth and sucks. He tries to say something but fails miserably as his own moans constantly interrupt him.

When Teresa senses he is about to come in her mouth, she stops all her movement, and lets go of him. He hisses at the loss of her warm mouth, and asks,

"Why'd you stop?"

She doesn't answer him, instead, she gets up, and aims for the door.

"Teresa?" he tries again. That's when she looks over her shoulder and catches his eyes. "You didn't tell me you were leaving and why so, why would I?" After that she slams the door, leaving Newt perplexed.

Teresa goes straight to her hut angry and horny. She's lucky enough not to pass anyone on her way as she is pretty sure she would do or say something she shouldn't.

She storms inside her hut with rage in her eyes. It dies down as she sees something on her bed. She walks closer to see it's a book. One she's never seen or heard of before.

"Henry David Thoreau," she mumbles, "Walden."

 _"Books are the treasured wealth of the world and the fit inheritance of generations and nations."_ Teresa didn't hear him come in, so his voice startles her. She slowly turns around to face him. He stands with his arms crossed. If he took a step closer he would pass the doorway, and be inside with her. Teresa is glad he decided against it. She's still angry with him, but she appreciates the sentiment she feels, whilst holding the gift. "I thought you'd like it," he confesses, "That's why I brought it."

With that Newt leaves, and Teresa's breath becomes heavier with every step he takes away from her.

Hours pass, but Teresa cannot force herself to either open the book or go for supper. Her head is spinning with various thoughts. Part of her is still mad and other confused. She wishes rain would start falling from the sky. She misses the dewy scent of earth.

Teresa gets the idea then. She grabs the new book and a blanket and leaves her hut in a hurry, going straight to the beach.

It hurts how much the woods, she passes on her way, remind her of Newt and everything they did there. Teresa tries to force the memories out of her head, but it's hard, especially that she can still taste him on her tongue.

She reaches the beach and stops dead in her tracks.

 _This must be some sick joke._ \- She thinks. Because Newt's there, sitting on the sand, staring at the sea, probably not realizing she's there with him now.

For a brief second Teresa panics.

 _You can still leave_. - she tells herself. – _Leave before he sees you_.

But her legs carry her forward and the next thing she knows, she's sitting next to him.


	7. Chapter 7

They sit like this for a while, staring at the sea. Newt never looks at her, and she wonders if he even realized she's there. She watches as the wind plays with his golden hair, flipping it from right to left. Still, he doesn't budge.

Teresa sighs because he technically doesn't have a reason to be mad at her. It's him who left without saying anything. So she used sex against him - so what? BIG BABY - she thinks.

"Thanks for the book," she mumbles as she stands up. Her grip tightens on the book with every step she takes.

One.

Two.

Three.

Four.

"Why'd you do that?" She stops not because he spoke, but because of the way he spoke - quiet, emotionless. Newt was always calm, careful, his every move seemed well calculated, he was... worm. Yet, he now sounds cold and indifferent, and despite herself, she shivers.

She turns to face him, but his gaze stays on the ocean. She wants to stamp her foot. Can't he see what mess he created? She should be mad! She deserves to be mad! So she is.

"How about you tell me?!" That gets his attention, and he turns his head towards her, his brows knitted.

"I don't know why you did that. It's kind of why I'm bloody askin'."

"Ugh... Tha's not what I..." She runs both of her hands through her hair, tugging on them in her fury. "Why didn't you tell me you were leaving?" She hates her voice for sounding like she's about to cry, but she was just so disappointed in him.

Newt opens his mouth, but no words come out. He stares at her dumbly, searching his mind for words.

"Got it," she whispers and nods curtly to herself before she turns away from him, ready to leave.

"No, Tee, wait!" She hears him get up and follow her. Before she knows it, he's gripping her arm, making her turn to face him. "I didn't think you'd care." He says it so sincerely, she almost believes him.

"Why wouldn't I?" But she's still angry with him, still confused, and the only thing she wants is to get answers.

"Why would you?" he asks quietly, maybe even hopefully, throwing Teresa off.

"Seriously? How about because we've been screwing for weeks now? How about because you're one of my only friends here? Or how about cranks and any WICKED survivours out there ready to hunt us down?!" Up to this point, she has thought that screaming it all to his face would make everything better. Oh, has she been wrong.

"I'm sorry," he says as if it were that simple. "I didn't think of it like that." She hates how calm he is, while he speaks to her, and how his eyes are boring into hers. With his body being so close to hers, she can feel his warmth again, and every part of her itches to get closer to him. Instead, she wrenches her arm away and takes a step back.

"Do you have any idea how it felt when I found out from Fry and not you?" He just nods and repeats himself,

"I'm sorry."

"And then I come here to clear my head, and you're sitting here, ignoring me all this time..."

"Because I was mad at you! Yes, I shucked up, but you could have told me, yelled at me or whatever for not telling you instead of..." he trails off, frustrated.

Teresa looks down at her feet, embarrassed. A while back using sex as revenge felt like the greatest idea, but now she feels stupid, childish even. She kicks the sand as silence settles between them.

"Call it even?" She tries shily, and to her surprise, he laughs.

"Oh thank God." With that Newt puts his hands on her waist, and brings her closer. It takes her by surprise as she didn't expect him to forgive her so quickly, but then he messed up, too. There was no reason for either of them to hold a grudge against each other. She knew she wouldn't. Not when he is touching her the way he knows brings her to the edge.

Newt's hands move quickly to the front of her shirt and he rips it off with an animalistic force. Teresa should be mad at him because in Safe Heaven there already is a deficit of clothes and he needn't have added to it, but it has been too long since she had him and she is willing to sacrifice one shirt if it means having him right now.

His lips move to her collarbone, teeth tugging on the skin, his hands on her ass, and he pulls her against his hips. Her own hands travel to his hair - oh how she loves pulling it.

She moans when his head moves lower and his lips capture her breast through her bra. Maybe it's because of how long it's been since the last time they had sex, but she feels like prey caught by a starving wolf, who just can't wait to sink its teeth into her.

Teresa tags at the hem of his shirt, because as sweet as this torture is she needs him inside her. While he takes it off, she already works on his belt, trying to remove his pants.

He has the audacity to joke about how desperate she is, but she shuts him up with a kiss.

"Fuck me," she whispers only an inch away from his lips, "You can do whatever you want to me, but now just fuck me." He barely gives her a chance to finish, when he pushes her on her back.


End file.
